IFS & EMDR Therapy
For individuals and couples · Online across California
Trauma-informed therapy that helps your nervous system heal—honoring the parts shaped by your past.
What we’ve been through
doesn’t stay in the past — it shows up
in our relationships.
You might notice this in the way small moments turn into big ones, or how conversations drift away from what you actually meant to talk about. Maybe you find yourselves having the same arguments again and again, or you go quiet because saying more feels like it would only make things worse.
These moments usually aren’t just about what’s happening now. They’re shaped by earlier experiences that taught you how to get through hard situations, protect yourself, or avoid more hurt.
Those ways of getting through make sense. They helped you survive something real. And at the same time, they can start to feel heavy or confusing in close relationships — especially when what you want now is ease, understanding, and closeness.
When past experiences are still close to the surface, it can be hard to stay present in the moment. Things escalate quickly. Words come out sharper than you intend. You may push for reassurance one minute and pull away the next. That back-and-forth — wanting closeness but feeling overwhelmed by it — can leave both partners confused, hurt, and exhausted.
Maybe you’ve been …
Walking on eggshells, never quite sure what will set things off or shut things down.
Watching small moments turn into big arguments, even when you started out wanting something simple or calm.
Going quiet to keep the peace, because saying more feels like it might only make things worse.
Feeling pulled toward your partner and then suddenly overwhelmed, unsure how to stay close without losing yourself.
Reacting faster than you want to, saying things in the heat of the moment that don’t reflect what you actually feel underneath.
Wanting ease, understanding, and closeness, but finding yourselves stuck in the same painful patterns anyway.
When you’ve been hurt, overwhelmed, or had to stay on guard for a long time, your body learns how to protect you. Those patterns don’t disappear just because you’re now with someone you care about. They show up automatically — in how quickly things escalate, how hard it is to stay present, or how confusing closeness can feel.
This isn’t about being “too sensitive,” “too much,” or bad at communication. It’s about a nervous system that learned to survive real experiences and hasn’t yet learned that the present moment is different.
In close relationships, that can create a painful push-and-pull. You want connection, reassurance, and safety — and at the same time, your body reacts as if something dangerous is happening. Both things can be true at once.
Healing relationships often means tending to what happened before
them.
WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING
Insight alone isn’t enough.
Your body learned this
—for a reason.
With IFS & EMDR…
WHAT WE’LL WORK ON
Understanding the parts of you that react, shut down, or push through, so you stop fighting yourself and begin working with your system instead of against it.
Creating internal safety first, so nothing has to be forced, rushed, or “powered through” in order for change to happen.
Softening emotional reactivity and shutdown, making your responses feel more intentional and less driven by old survival patterns.
Gently approaching what feels overwhelming or stuck, without reliving trauma or moving faster than your body is ready for.
Reprocessing experiences that are still living in your nervous system, even if you’ve already talked about them many times before.
Creating more space between trigger and response, so you can stay present, grounded, and connected — to yourself and to others.
Feeling safer inside your own body, allowing steadiness, relief, and integration to build over time.
Safety comes first.
Connection follows.
If insight alone were enough, you wouldn’t still be finding yourselves caught in the same moments. What keeps getting in the way isn’t a lack of effort or care — it’s a body that learned, over time, how to protect you when things felt overwhelming or unsafe.
My role is to help you make sense of those reactions together, without blame or judgment. We pay attention to the parts of you that get protective, shut down, or go on high alert — not to get rid of them, but to understand what they’re trying to protect and what they need in order to soften.
We move at a pace that respects what feels possible for you and for your relationship. Instead of pushing for change too quickly, we focus on building enough safety that new ways of responding can actually take hold.
As that safety grows, old experiences lose their grip on the present. Conversations slow down. You’re better able to stay with each other, say what you mean, and hear what’s underneath the conflict — responding with intention rather than reacting out of fear.
We don’t rush this work. We build the conditions where connection can deepen and change can last.
HOW I CAN HELP
How We Work
Parts First. Trauma Carefully.
Parts work creates safety. EMDR deepens healing.
Before anything moves, we listen.
Much of my work is grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS) — a parts-based approach that helps you understand and build trust with the different parts of you that learned to cope, protect, or manage pain.
These parts aren’t problems to get rid of.
They’re intelligent responses to what you’ve lived through.
In this work, we don’t bypass protectors or rush vulnerability.
We slow down, get curious, and build internal permission — because healing doesn’t happen when parts feel forced.
When there is enough safety and stability, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) may be introduced thoughtfully and selectively. EMDR helps the nervous system reprocess experiences that remain stuck — not by reliving them, but by allowing the body to complete what couldn’t be integrated at the time.
EMDR is never used automatically.
It’s used when your system — and your parts — are ready.
What Sessions Feel Like
Steady, collaborative, and paced
Sessions are not about pushing through or breaking things open.
They’re about paying attention — to what’s present, what feels manageable, and what needs more time.
We move slowly enough to notice what’s happening in your body and nervous system, and intentionally enough to support real change. Nothing is rushed, and nothing is forced.
You remain present and in control
You won’t be asked to relive experiences or go somewhere you’re not ready for.
We check in often, adjust in real time, and follow your system’s cues.
If something feels like too much, we slow down.
If something feels ready, we stay with it — carefully and collaboratively.
Change happens through integration, not intensity
Over time, many clients notice that emotional reactions soften, overwhelm becomes easier to interrupt, and there’s more space between trigger and response.
This work isn’t about dramatic moments.
It’s about steady integration — so changes last because they’re built on safety.
This work may be a fit if you’re…
Looking for therapy that moves at the pace of your nervous system
Interested in understanding your patterns, not judging them
Wanting trauma work that is collaborative, not directive
Open to both insight and body-based healing
Ready for depth, with steadiness and care
This work may not be a fit if you’re…
Looking for quick fixes or symptom-only strategies
Wanting to be pushed into trauma processing before you feel ready
Hoping therapy will override your internal boundaries
Seeking a highly structured, advice-driven approach
Wanting intensity over integration
My core values
Growth
steady, sustainable change
honesty
say the real thing
Safety
at your pace
Compassion
it makes sense
authenticity
be yourself
depth
go beneath
We listen first.
To your body.
To your history.
To the parts of you that learned how to survive.
There’s another way to heal.
At your pace. With support. When it feels right.
let’s begin carefully.
QUESTIONS?
FAQs
-
We decide together. IFS can help build internal safety first, while EMDR may be used to reprocess specific experiences when you’re ready. The work always moves at your pace.e.
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No. Both IFS and EMDR prioritize safety and choice. You’re never required to share details or relive experiences before you’re ready.
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Yes. IFS helps make sense of protective responses, and EMDR helps the nervous system release stored distress that drives reactivity or shutdown.n.
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Often, yes. IFS helps build internal safety and trust first, and EMDR may be introduced when it’s clinically appropriate for trauma reprocessing.
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That’s expected. IFS and EMDR are designed to slow the process, support regulation, and make repair feel possible—both internally and in relationships.
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IFS and EMDR reduce reactivity and help heal unresolved emotional wounds. As individuals feel safer inside, they’re better able to stay present, take responsibility, and repair connection with their partner.