What Migration Teaches Us About Love
Originally published in In The Mix Magazine
A publication of Mic Diaz Presents • Founders Edition, Summer 2026
By Isabella Rose Alonzo-Gatti, LMFT
Read the original publication here →
Growing up in the Philippines, many of us learned something about love long before we ever entered a romantic relationship. We learned that love and distance could exist together. A parent left to work abroad. A mother called from another country. A father missed birthdays, graduations, and family dinners because providing for the family meant being somewhere else.
For many Filipino families, migration was an act of sacrifice and love. Families survived because of it, and opportunities were created because of it. But survival often leaves emotional footprints that are easy to miss. As a couples therapist, I often see the lasting impact of migration, family separation, and sacrifice in the stories people bring into their relationships.
Many children in transnational families learn that people can love you deeply and still leave. They learn that sacrifice and absence often go hand in hand. Many grow up resilient and appreciative of the sacrifices made on their behalf. Yet resilience and grief often coexist. A child can feel grateful and lonely, proud and abandoned, loved and deeply missed.
Years later, those children become adults and carry these early experiences into their relationships in ways they may not fully recognize. Some become fiercely independent. Others become highly sensitive to separation or carry a deep sense of responsibility for others. These are not flaws. They are adaptations.
Migration shapes more than geography. It shapes identity, belonging, family systems, and sometimes our understanding of love itself. Understanding these influences is not about blaming our parents or questioning their sacrifices. It is about honoring the fullness of the story. Migration changes where we live. Sometimes it changes how we love. And perhaps understanding those connections is one way we can hold our stories—and each other—with greater compassion.
If this reflection resonated with you and you're looking for support in your relationship, I'd be honored to help.
